Entry number ?....Lost count

Today...It was a hum drum day. I haven't been feeling very good today, my lungs...Breathing is somewhat difficult still, but it is improving and will continue if I am diligent with my exercises. Also the fact that I am now fat does not help my feeling any better. When I was put on so many antibiotics at once all the fluid started to become retained in my body, flowing out into my flesh. I have gained probably 20lbs. at least, in the past two weeks. Laying in bed, losing muscle, and gaining water weight doesn't help you to move around very easy. It is getting better but skin is sore because it has ecome stretched in awkward places like around my hips. Even areas "down below" have been affected...Have you ever tried walking around with a huge grape fruit between your legs? Well, the fluid start to leave soon, and then I'll be back to "skinny" me, well I know I will have very little muscle mass again, but I just got to keep on moving, stop laying in bed.

I had a respiratory therapist come in and do some breathing exercises with me, very simple, but definitely will help get my lung capacity back up. I was sick to my stomach a few times today, actually only this morning, but it passed. I slept a lot today, I think I may be catching up on ten nights of barely sleeping at all. When I was in my "insomnia" stage I would drift in an out of consciousness and begin talking like I was awake, I was talking on the phone once, playing games with my mom at the side of my bed, I am sure she thought I was nuts, I even tried to explain how to play a game to one of the nurses in one of my stuppers. I am laughing right now thinking about how ridiculous it all sounds, I was aware of what I was saying, yet it really made no sense at all. I have no idea where all those things came from...I guess I was delirious from the constant fever. When I was five I had a bad fever, and I still remember seeing the alligators and scarecrows coming out of the walls, and the "bad nurse" trying to steal my baby brother away, that was a really crazy one, but I remember it just like it happened. Speaking of delirium, a few other times, although I didn't have a fever, I was in bed sleeping and then all of a sudden burst out into laughter, not just chuckles or giggles, but outright boisterous laughing, uncontrolled, stomach wrenching laughter. My mom came into to ask what was so funny and all I could say was "I don't know!!!" and continued, probably for twenty minutes. Anyway. Enough reminiscing for tonight, I kinda drifted there but whatever! Lata Justin:)