Here I am...

So this is what it feels to be nineteen. I guess this is a special circumstance, something you never would have thought could be possible at such a young age. Lots of people get sick, you just never know if it's going to be you. I am dealing. My Birthday went alright, as about exciting as every other day since the start of this whole thing. I had an cry. I guess it's good to cry every once in awhile, even if it is your birthday, relieve some tightly packed emotions and stress. At least the big turkey feast was good, and I ate double of the black forest cake... It was good.

The weekend carried on, in a bit of a frenzy however, it was kind of busy having a fuller than normal full house here in Calgary. I kind of felt overwhelmed, and this house isn't so big that you can just become lost, and get away from everyone if you need to.

I have felt a little lonely lately. Mostly my fault, I never pick up the phone to talk to anyone. I just don't like talking on it. It seems to be even harder when you have little to talk about, I guess I could always be the listener, find out what is happening with everyone else. I think I get tired of the question: "How are you feeling?" Standard answer: " Good/OK I guess." Really, I don't know how to answer that. I don't feel to bad, most of the time, but still it's not the way I would prefer to feel. So I guess I just keep it simple to avoid the: "Well, I have stomach cramps, gas, tingly feet, ect..." Maybe people get tired hearing about the complaints of this Bone Marrow Transplant patient. And I'm rambling...

So I have been baking, I got a new cook book for my birthday: "Essentials of Baking". It is a huge cook book filled with exotic breads, pastries, cookies, and all those things that a steady diet of would enlarge you steadily. So I decided to try one recipe everyday. So far I have made these cheddar, chive muffins. They were ok. The Honey Whole Wheat bread would have been better if it had cooked fully, but the kneader and baker failed; undercooked. The cookies were a hit and didn't last the weekend so I made more yesterday, along with the most excellent pizza dough. It's a shame that breads and cookies aren't the best thing for you because I think if they were I would just go non-stop with pies, and all those things that taste so good. I am one of those people who loves to make things, but hate to see it get eaten, unless it is by me. Eating is a past time for me, one of the things I can still do and enjoy now that my taste skills have more or less come back since the chemo period.

Guitar is still going, been practicing quite a bit, not a lot of progress, but it is something that will take time to master. I have been trying to get the first part of 'Sweet Home Alabama' down, it's slow, but it sounds like its supposed to. Along with the chromatic finger exercise, and trying to get my chords down, and learn the major and minor scales, I have lots to practice.

My bladder was acting up last week, but this week it seems to be better, but I am still getting up a lot at night to go to the bathroom. It is interrupting my sleep, and I am feeling more tired in the afternoons, so I think I need to start taking more naps during the day to sustain my strength.

I wanna see who is out there still, drop me a line sometime.

Justin:) Thanks for all the Birthday Greetings By the Way.