Cinqo dies de ma Transplanto(My version of Spanish)

This is March 23 2005. That means it is five days since I was infused with someone elses Stem Cells. It will still be a while before anything spectactular comes, I have to wait for the cells to get into my bones and start making my new blood. So far all my counts have dropped, as normal, white blood- 0.2, red -94, platelets- 113. Likely my platelets will drop almost to zero before they will give me any transfusions, as it would mean filling me, again, of someonelse's cells and that may just confuse my already slightly dazed body or blood stream.

Well the few days past I havn't been eating a whole lot, which is nothing compared to my normal eating habits. I just keep getting sick, like I said before, I hate getting sick. So slowly I am waisting away, but I think my eating is starting to pick up again. But now I have to worry about my mouths sores I seem to be getting, they aren't too sore yet, but they are becoming that way. Unfortunately the mouth sores won't disappear until my blood counts come up which could take up to two weeks before engraftment occurs in my bones.

My doctor told me I am on the road to Picadilly today, I am not really sure what that means, but he is a funny African doctor, so he must have some strange saying but he is a good doctor.

So whatever road I am on, its definatley not over yet, but one day at I time, I will get there!
Justin:)

Transplant...check

Well you could say I am stubborn, or just crazy...Of course both are probably true, but I could not help getting out of bed, even with a slight fever to check for my comments and maybe check in with everyone again. I have to make this short cause I am not feeling the greatest, but my transplant is past, it happened last night at around 7:30. It went good, but I happened to get a fever after whish has kind of lasted through this day. My room is now decorated with 1000 origami cranes, something for me to wish on and brighten up my room. So with transplant behind, now it is the time to wait for engraftment of the new cells, as the y work their way oward my bone cavities to begin producing my "overseas" blood. It will be at least a week, and we will see how long it takes for me to feel well enough to write a more long blog!! Thankyou everyone for rooting for me, it won't be long!!!
Justin:)

Goes On and On....

See...What did I tell you Blogging is more fun when you get comments!! Looks like some people don't have it down quite yet, but some are even more entusiastic about it and write double.

Sitting here at the computer station of Unit 57, my chemo is dripping into my veins, it's the last day of this stage which is good. Except for the fact that one more drug is being added to the pile, I am feeling realatively well and I did puke this morning...All over the kitchen floor too, couldn't quite make it to the bathroom. Man I hae the feeling, but it does seem to help once my stomach is empty, even if I did only have water to that point. It is sort of similar to moring sickness maybe, but don't worry guys, I am not pregnant. It's bound to get worse before it gets better, so I am on the computer, typing while I can. This afternoon I am getting ATG, an immunosuppressant(from a horse or rabbit, I get the rabbit) that will ensure my body takes the new marrow, however it can cause flu like symtoms, fevers, chills, shakes, all around fun stuff.

Tomorrow I will recieve ATG again, and I guess also radiation? I guess I should ask Dr. Jeje. The cells will be delivered by early Saturday morning, so I will probably get my transplant while I sleep, remember it is only like a blood tranfusion so I won't be posting any more cool bone morrow biopsy pictures. The cells will bump around inside of my body rying to finf "home" which is or will be my mostly empty bone cavities (right now filled with dead, or half dead marrow that is being pulverized by the chemo as I speak.) The cells will eventually migrate down and begin to produce blood, and the antibodoes I need to fight infection that I soon will run out of.

So this is the deal, nothing is going to happen but I still need everyone to root for me. This will be a long process still, but no way I am giving up.

Justin:)

Rollin' on a Riva'

It's like this, second last day of chemotherapy ever!!! I lost the first meal in over a month today, my stomach just wasn't in the right place this morning, and it's the accumulation of chemicals starting to take affect. But I took my Zofran($21.00 a shot from the pharmacy...Craziness) and do not feel nauseated at the moment. Unfortunately, with the fluid that has been pumped through my system 24/7, again, have I started to retain it. I will not, however, balloon up over 40lbs. again. I can be put on another drug to help me urinate the excess fluid of my body. On my nights away from the hospital, I get to carry a small fluid pump and like a forty-pound "man-bag" (it's realy cool) that countains the three litre sac of Salene that will be infused over the night until returning to the hospital.

Back here at the hospital not a lot goes on, I can play on the computers like I am doing now, play my guitar that hasn't seen that much improvement in the last three months that I have had it, but slow and steady. I a had a lesson on Thurday, and my insructor gave me something to work on. I have books to read, "yummy" food to eat, a treadmill to walk on, excercises to do, the odd drug to swallow, or gag down, but really not a whole lot realy goes on.

Right now the hospital's fire alarms are going off, I guess there is a fire six floors down in the basement, but for sure it does not compare to the urgence of a fire bell ringing in a school, that would be really chaotic in a hospital if everyone had to leave the building for a miniscule fire down in the basement.

Bone Marrow/Stem Cell transplant scheduled for this weekend, bone marrow/cancer is being slaughtered by the chemo, this news reporter/patient is done telling his stories.

Justin:)

P.S. Thanks for the comments, keep 'em coming, if you want to.

Chemo....sigh

Well, as the countdown to chemo begins, I am feeling, I guess ready for it, but at the same time, unsure. There is no way that I will back out of this. I could, but it would be a stupid move. This procedure does present risks, but the risk of not taking this risk is even more risky. The best chance of cure from Leukemia. The feeling is just to get it over with, but the hard part is not knowing what will happen in the getting it over with part. I could breeze through the transplant with no problems at all and be perfectly fine in three months, or I could take a nasty dose of Graft vs. Host Disease, and be plagued with chronic signs of it for years to come. No one said having Leukemia would be easy, and sometimes I just wish it were all a dream. I will get through this, just being moderately well and having to be subjected to substances that are guarateed to have a bearing on my "wellness", make me sick, and all that. It seems stupid that way, but to get the bad stuff out you got to fight... Fight fire with fire... Hopefully I don't get burned.
Justin:)

Weirdness...

Just sitting here listening to my Country Music....That's right I listen to country music and am not ashamed!! Well I am not just sticking with country but it is my preference, and has been for a while. I sing along with almost every song on the radio, cause I have this weird thing about knowing words to every song that I listen too. Exaggerating of course, I know most songs, and if I listen to one country radio station it can be hours before one comes up that I don't. That's why I am trying to learn the guitar and be a real showoff. One day I will be a country star. I can't believe I just wrote that... I am a freak.

So, this is how it works... Today I go to the hospital for my weekly flush and blood draw, my last one before being tied to the hospital permanently on Friday when I am admitted. During this round of chemo I am allowed to leave and sleep outside of the hospital, but that means getting up early every morning to get back to the hospital. The beds are horrible, and don't fit me very good, so the getting up early may be worth it to have a comfortable sleep. Also depending if I am wreching my guts or not, that will also have some bearing on whether or not I stay or migrate back and forth.

The days are spent watching squirrels run around the yard, Calgary squirrels seem way bigger than at home, and there are a lot around, running on the roads, and in the trees. As long as they aren't rabid the world is safe, otherwise I think squirrel attacks would be very common in this city. Speaking of rodents, because I am a little sh*t, I scared my mom as we were walking in a dark underpass with garbage around, almost pitch black, I yelled "there's a rat " and started running as my mom screamed and jumped around as I laughed. It was funny, had to be there.

But I should wrap this up since it is going nowhere. I want to tell people that even if you do not have a blogger account, you can now post comments without one, as I have modified my site to host anonymous comments. So if you read this you better leave a comment... But you don't have to if you don't want to.

This is a really weird blog, o just disregard the weirdness.

Justin:)

Livestrong!! Don't Give Up!!

Time winds down, my transplant is getting closer and closer. The date, which seemed far off is only now thirteen days away, is March 18th, but could happen on the 19th depending when the stem cells fly overseas. I may be getting European blood now, maybe I will assume a new accent as well as new new DNA. I won't be abe to contact my donor until a year after my transplant, just policy of the Donor System. The whole process is exciting, but different kinds of excitement, but so much uncertainty involved with all of this, just have to have faith!!

So how do I spend my time while I live outside in the real world....Hmmmm......I don't too many thing that are too thrilling. I went to the Zoo, that's always fun!! Most of the animals were out and it was a relatively nice day, and not crowded(I am not permitted/shouldn't go into crowds while my immunity is suppressed). After the Zoo, a few days after, I went to DQ for a burger, then found out from my Nurse that I am not really supposed to have fast food either.... I am just such a rebel. I have been going for walks with Larken, my new pet, now that I practically live with my Aunty, but it makes me miss Rolli, my retriever. I watch t.v. now and then, when my cousins aren't hogging the remote with their cartoons, Jacob Two-Two, and Sponguebob Squarepants. I try to read a bit, as well as get my sleep. Obviously I don't keep up with my Blog as it's been over ten days.

The past weekend brought some familiar faces from home for a visit. They came along with my dad for the weekend. It was not really eventful, but we had lots of laughs, playing deadly games of spoons and slap jack, and just being together. The worst part of the weekend was having to say good-bye again, it's always the hardest part. My brother and sister were supposed to come here to Calgary this weekend, but unfortunately they got sick and had to stay home, for fear of infecting me with whatever they have, I have to stay as healthy as possible before my transplant. So I was sad, but soon we will be together again, but I haven't seen them since Christmas, my mom too.

The dosage of drugs increased today, I started my Dilantin, which is an anti-seizure medication. That sounds really scary, but it is a preventively. The next chemo drug that I will be subjected to is Busulphan which has the tendencies to cause seizures. Not to worry because that is why I have this new medication, but it nonetheless startling. So I will go over how the next few weeks will look: Next week, until Friday I will be hospital free (besides Wednesday when I get a standard procedure line draw and flush of the CVC line that still protrudes from my chest,) Friday I will be admitted to Unit 57 encore to start my chemo session that will effectively wipe out my marrow thus my immunity system as I know it. The course of chemo will run to the next Friday when I receive two doses of radiation before my suspected Transplant the next day depending on delivery time. The Transplant will take its course of about an hour as it is just a simple transfusion, no pain (unless I react, which is unlikely.) The week prior to chemo should go alright, but about day seven I may have severe mouth sores and trouble eating and may need narcotic pain relief(this is the chemo now destroying my fast growing cells; mucus membranes, hair cells, and the stomach/intestine lining) this is probably one of the worst points, but with open mouth sores, I have a much higher chance of infection. During this period I will be on antibiotics, antifungals, and antivirals, and the these are crutial as I am now no longer with an stable immunity. It will take about two weeks for the new cells to begin to work and until this "graft" kicks in I am sort of left hanging. With my donor being fully matched this should minimize the effects that could occur through GVHD (Graft Versus Host Disease) which has many complications affecting many different parts of the body. Some is wanted to fight the Leukemia, but not a lot is good. This is just an insight to the proposed process in which I will go through, and eventually come through the other end even if it means longer time away.

My thoughts are very optimistic, as I have talked to a few people who have already gone through this thing. Of course you won't ever talk to the people who have passed on in the process of having a transplant, but that is something one just has to accept and refuse everything but life for themselves. Life is the only way for me.

K, I have to mention this:
My Aunty was talking to my cousin's friend Shawn.
"Why do you have that bracelet on your arm?" he points to the Livestrong bracelet on her wrist.
"Well it is in support of my nephew who have Leukemia." she explains
"Leukemia!!!" he cries "I thought he had Necrophelia!!" they pause
"Then what is Necrophelia?" Shawn questions
"Maybe you should ask your mom that one!" She snickers

I thought this was hilarious....Anyways, LIVESTRONG Bracelets, everyone should have one, I wear one so because I am continuing the fad, you should too. I am upping the demand! The support Cancer Research through the Lance Armstrong Foundation for those who don't know and are getting very popular. Get yours soon and Livestrong!!

Justin:)